Awes and wanders

More fun in the Philippines

2012-01-10T03:14:00.000+11:00

The right to play

2011-10-23T00:16:00.001+11:00

I helped a friend do some research with the Eskaya Communities located in the towns of Candijay, Duero and Sierra Bullones in Bohol Province. It was his last day of research and I tagged along happy to be his interpreter. (My interest: is added knowledge on the Eskayan culture and a good roadtrip on a Sunday!) On our way to one of the communities, we passed by this happy scene of people playing basketball.

Browsing through these photos (taken months ago), reaffirmed my belief that kids have the right to play... Happy children's month.

This time it is for granny

2011-10-22T23:57:00.001+11:00

The month of October is dedicated for children. I dedicate my re-blogging commitment to the grannies who generally smothers the children with spoiling love and affection.

The above photo was taken in my trip to Chiangmai in October 2008. She did not dress up to the occasion of receiving an 'alien' in her house. She was very much dressed up to do the winnowing of their rice produce. She patiently did the pounding and the winnowing amidst laughter and antics of her grandchildren (or great-grandchildren).

With grace and wisdom, she answered all my questions and still continued to do her task. When I kidded about how seriously good she was at her task, she smiled and replied... she is preparing the rice for her 'children'...

Ey, the world is still on!

2011-05-31T00:15:00.000+10:00

Yes, my last blog entry was last year. It was in my post-operative moments when talking to the computer monitor was not such a bad idea. From that time until now, I day dreamed of having loads of blog entries. Everything, canned in my mind.

Don't count on me as a groupie of doomsday sayers telling that the world will soon end. I just can't join their group because they were just waiting for the world to end. Now that the world moved on, they have to set another deadline when the world will soon stop. Why? They found it good to wait...

For me, I don't need to wait for it to end for am aware that other people's world already ended-- over some relationships, untold stories or perhaps, unrealized dreams. Should we listen to them, perhaps, their world may seem trivial. But then, I find it more colorful than waiting for the world to end...

(this spot might be a good place to wait... but hey, who will sponsor my provisions?)

Panghagban, Buenavista

2010-05-26T23:53:00.006+10:00

At least it is the place called home by my tatay. He was born in the area and knows the place by heart. He is proud to say they domesticated the entire place. Translation: they cut down trees and razed down the grasslands in favor of rice fields and pastures for the livestock.

My early memories of the place was hard work. We used to take the 10 k walk to visit my grandparents. No amount of rationalization as to modern convenience could convince us that the walk was hard but easier now. For kids used to the tricycle, it was truly excruciating. However, we easily forgot how difficult the walk was with the thought of novelty... going to the stream, climbing on hills and being the center of attention.

Last weekend, I returned to Panghagban. Nothing much changed. The hills rolled minus its greenery. It is as if time stood still for the people to ravage the land or forage on it.

May change ever happen...

Election takes

2010-05-17T23:21:00.003+10:00

Pre-Election Takes

2010-05-17T22:31:00.006+10:00

These are photo takes from the Pollwatcher's seminar for Maribojoc, Antequera and Cortes towns handled by the Aquino Roxas Bantay Balota First District Team.

One twist in this seminar is that the watchers did not only vow to watch over the votes of noy and mar but also, they promised not to sell their votes...

The passionate Bacolodnons (EDSA I commemoration)

2010-03-29T19:02:00.007+11:00

I happened to be in Bacolod for the 2010 EDSA commemoration. It was EDSA relived with the local players taking initiative. It was also clear that EDSA commemoration for them meant vote generation for Noynoy and Mar...

My thoughts on Dialog Mindanao (Visayas)

2010-03-29T18:18:00.003+11:00

I celebrated EDSA I in Bacolod during the Dialog Mindanao Consultation for the Visayas at St La Salle Campus. Some 300 delegates from West, Central and East Visayas converged for the gathering.

I went out of curiosity and boredom (administrative requirements sapped my energy in those days). I ws curious on how the 300 delegates from different polarities could be made to sit and talk about "mindanao" and how the Visayas people would be of much help we shall be to the complication called Mindanao. I wondered on how much Visayas and how much dialogue could truly take place in a five-hour maximum deliberation.

I was bored out of my work as the run of the mill decisions and works were almost over. The school will just have to go through with what needs to be done. Also, as I was teaching political science, listening to how experts would treat sovereignty and territory in a Mindanao Dialogue might be refreshing...

The dialogue proved better than expected. The people talked and shared their concerns. Notably absent though are the Muslim brothers and sisters that we have in the Visayas It looks like we only have one representative. Another, the government representative or speaker did not truly elaborate much on the government agenda. It appeared that she was quite casual about the entire affair. However, trying to read between the lines, the dialog is not truly taking sides it is a show of force for Mindanao to finally sign the peace accord that lasted for centuries.

What was very convincing and moving was the speech of the MILF representative. It was done eloquently, with much preparation and moving examples enough to hold the audience in awe. Yes, the audience was truly taken by his presentation.

Notably absent in tht affair was the members of the peace process on the government panel. Yes, so much cards were laid on the table but for what? For whose use? I rest my trust and confidence in Mr. Villanueva and the secretariate to produce a very good document out of the proceedings. But then, pages of papers can't equate the spirit and the will of the people present in that time...

Kalinaw!

The mystique Lamanoc

2009-12-26T11:46:00.007+11:00

Christmas Greetings...

2009-12-26T11:35:00.005+11:00

To everyone and every being,

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Who stands to gain in Pandanon?

2009-10-19T14:22:00.005+11:00

Waking up at 5.00 AM is no mean feat for a Saturday morning. The thought of setting foot in another isle out there in the northern part of Bohol was my caffeine...

We left Tagbilaran at 6.30 cramped in a VHire (van for hire). Including our brief stopover at the Banacon mangrove forest, it took us 4 hours to reach our destination.

Pandanon is an islet off the coast of an inhabited island. From afar, the place is densely populated. However, the tiny islet is spared of inhabitants as it was privately owned by the Ouanos.

The landing fee per person is :P150.00 and the cottages cost 250.00. We were just thankful to our hunch to buy food from the mainland. Or else, we'll surely die of hypoglycemia out there.

Most of the guests were Koreans based in Cebu. Most of the boat operators and hotel operators are from Cebu. It sounds that Pandanon is part of their island hopping itineraries.

If you want a lazy day spent with tolerable noise of glee and fun from your neighbors and an occasional splash of water, Pandanon is for you.

The islets all around Pandanon reassures you that Philippines is indeed an archipelago. That indeed, Cebu is just so near Bohol after all.

When the waves lick the shore

2009-09-21T18:33:00.004+10:00

The shore:

I am always wet
lambasted by the waves unceasingly
I get caressed by waters of long time ago
reunited by all those waters intertwined by ages
Boredom sets me to a kill
But freedom -that of embracing the journey done
Just of being there, a solid wall at the corner

The water:
Of different forms, tempers and sight, I move on
I voice out all my angst
The waves and tides do it all
Unceasingly I drift
The destination is so uncertain...
The destination I might not appreciate.
I'll simply be there...

Awes and wanders: On punishing the girl-child

2009-09-19T14:03:00.000+10:00

Awes and wanders: On punishing the girl-child

On punishing the girl-child

2009-09-19T13:47:00.002+10:00

The biases of long time ago evolves in time and the context where we are ... The frustrations and disappointments of yesterday may not hold the same impact always...

Browsing through the papers of today, I came across a controversial 'request' by the Catholic schools of the country. I read some friction in here... a 'moral' segregation somewhere.

My reaction: how do we realize in its fullness, the 'best interest of the child' principle? Are we back to the time of scarlet letters?

Punta Cruz

2009-09-18T19:41:00.005+10:00

All for nationalism

2009-09-18T19:25:00.003+10:00

I planned to write about a line that I read somewhere in reaction to a friend's graduation picture-- "and now, service to the country?" Reading that comment froze my state of being for a day. Yes, I forgot when I've uttered that line last but for the young people commenting on a simple graduation picture, it was very natural for them to claim service to the motherland.

I long for the time when in my country, we would also be able to do the same... people of all 'kinds' would ask these without fail and in utter sincerity.

This led me to ask... have I served enough?

Food Trip

2009-09-03T20:31:00.005+10:00

I survive therefore I eat... (the top three are mogwai prepared foodies while the last one is a glimpse of appetizers I prepared at avocado)

Tagbilaran Morn

2009-09-03T20:21:00.002+10:00

What is good in the morning? Having a feel of roaming around while mostly are still asleep. It is just as if you roam freely without much spectators. Yes, it is just like in the night... tranquil and quiet but with the presence of the sun.

I equate it to power: getting ahead of those who chose to embrace their pillows and chose to prolong the pseudo-darkness in them.

But who owns the morning? The ones who can’t choose to sleep--- these are the early morning workers whose jobs require them to leave the comfort of their beds. . The health buffs are in the other category. We have those who are so conscious of their health that they lord over the streets and the parks for the cause called fitness. There are those who are under threat from debilitating illnesses or who chose to be cowered by their doctors and the blood pressure apparatuses. We have the students whose fear of being late and get demerit or fines from their respective school.

In the earlier part of the morning, one can also have the glimpse of grandeur when it is safe to sway your hips in the middle of the streets since transport is still very scarce.

I like the morning coolness and the clarity of the streets. The streets won’t lie.

Just

2009-06-04T14:15:00.001+10:00

Blazing through am compelled to do
to just feel the wind kissing through
caressing the skin that shivers
the slice of the cold wind may seem to cut me into pieces
but the roaring of the waves leave me more cold
colder still when the rain will pour in fury

There is no stopping
for i know that strength is best seen in resilience

Revisiting my blog

2009-06-04T13:55:00.004+10:00

(or perhaps, this is the reason why i didn't blog?---too much outings :-)

My not writing was at first a case of respite.

And then it became a nuissance to write. I can't blog from my blogspot due to some technicalities.

For 6 months, the issue on freedom of speech and expression played in my mind. But then in truth, I didn't have the chance to write. I rested easy on the fact that my spot was 'blocked'...

But truly, it might just be a convenient excuse of disappearing in virtuality.

Flying again (chronicles in my 'hopping back')

2008-10-04T10:07:00.004+10:00

Oblige me. I shall write about my trip hopping back to Asia. I promise that it won't be that dramatic, filling your thoughts about the difficulties of goodbyes. It is just something that I need to write about...

Sunday, September 28---

The day was spent doing my last shopping for the 'paki-padala' list of things that i need to carry to amazing Thailand. It was a discovery shop since I never get to enter into the cathedrals of consumerism in Melbourne. Anyway, I don't have the right to do so. (not much economic strength to do so) But in that day, I just entered into a lot of shops enquiring about brands that people asked me to buy. Some were inexistent in the Australian market while others were just to easy to find.

I had an instant farewell party with friends. (pity--my memory card got deleted...) It was just a simple one full of laughters and exchanges of memories.

When all the goodbyes were made, I remained awake to face the negotiation of my packing. Objective: no luggage overweight. When I achieved my goal, I just had 4 hours max sleeping time.

Monday - September 29

After completing all the packing and putting them all outside ready for pick up, Candy, another Filipina friend accompanied me to the bank. On the road to the bank, she reminded me about harsh realities in life. (Sigh---good to have wel-meaning friends)

When it was my time to leave for the airport, the customary goodbye hugs took place. Admittedly, I do have fond memories of 19 Lovell Drive...

Reaching the airport, I exercised utmost patience waiting for my gate to open. However, when 11 am struck and the gate remained closed, I just have to go to the service counter of Jetstar at Terminal 2. Out there, I was coolly informed that my flight would only be tomorrow. Another advisory was sent out weeks ago but was just left in a measly answering machine (hello! call centres--- moi doesn't return calls made by you!). I just waited for the printed itinerary and then gave them a piece of acerbity...

People in the house were happy for my return. I didn't have the time to make out of their jubilation. I slept through it all. I was so tired after the ordeal.

Tuesday - September 30

I don't have to do so much. My things were already packed. However, it was more difficult to say goodbye to my housemates as both Nilani and Anuja were there...

I was an early bird in the queue for the check in so the lady at the counter just wrote off my 3 kilo excess! It was a very good reason to smile and heave a sigh of relief.

I reached Bangkok 10 minutes after ETA. Jen and Fely welcomed me very warmly. The heat of Bangkok enveloped me and the ever-enterprising taxi driver confirmed the fact that ---Am back to Asia. Sawasdee!

Gradual phase out

2008-09-21T23:06:00.003+10:00

I can write again

2008-08-07T09:44:00.002+10:00

(My last photo shoot with my nokia phone... i forgot all about this pic but it evoked memories of spontaneity... at a time when yes, my pen was generous and words flowed out of the keyboard)

I was blocked and I went on self-denial. The ink didn't cooperate. I am no writer but my hand refused to be honest in airing out my feelings. I retrogressed. ---FOR A FEW MONTHS, WEEKS, DAYS.

Now I can write again. The dark days are over but it is no assurance that my own personal dragons are slain. It is still around but noticed and acknowledged...

Mea culpa

2008-08-07T09:42:00.000+10:00

(ode to the world of unbelief)

For not loving you enough
For projecting my unreasonable standards
Perhaps for not listening

For not taking the pains of making me understood
For burrowing into the excuses called ‘to do’

For the long absence and the unjust presence
I was with my world burrowed deep inside Alice’s tunnel
Sucked into the vortex of angst and darkness

Am still drowning into the stinky smell of sulphur
My lungs shrivel and innards shrink

When the cancer of pain strikes
and the universe collides to stop it
my vision gets foiled
my senses numb

So I whispered to the dam keeper
To let it be. Nature will find a way.
I’ll surrender.

The Launch

2008-07-07T22:37:00.007+10:00

The launch marked the start of the Green World Youth Day program. I've been quite daring in my get up that night. No amount of cold wind could deter my 'costume'! I was also prod to deliver my piece to the audience and they also listened. Perhaps, they acknowledge the melodramatic preparation that we went through and so, they obliged!!!

(Thanks to the perfectionist speech coaches or models that I had back home :-) )

Resting Easy

2008-06-26T20:49:00.002+10:00

I burrowed deep into this thing called work. My main objective is to get it 'done and over with'... One friend kept hounding me about the importance of health. My mind told me about the importance of delivering good service to them.

This stage is over...

The countdown to the next week is on... Tomorrow, our first participant is arriving and I am almost done with the things that we need to do.

It is now time to go back to the basics--meet people and see to it that they are home...

The man on the roof

2008-05-27T21:25:00.002+10:00

By Conrado de Quiros
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 00:29:00 05/26/2008

MANILA, Philippines - Crispin Beltran told me a story I remember to this day. He and several Filipino labor leaders had been invited to a labor conference in Vienna (I think), and the conference had been important enough for them to accept. Off they went on the cheapest flight they could get, bringing with them nothing but their everyday clothes with a couple of long-sleeved shirts and decent pants thrown in for the socials. They figured that since this was a labor conference, the accepted, or expected, attire was workingman’s clothes.

When they got to the conference, they were surprised to see that the venue was a magnificent structure, probably a palace in older times. They were even more surprised—and chagrined—to see that the people who congregated at the entrance to register for the conference all wore suits, many of them three-piece ones. The women wore formal dress and exuded subtle scents.

Deciding that prudence was the better part of valor, they retreated from the scene. But determined as they were to attend the conference—sayang the money their organizations had scrounged up to get them there—they got in touch with some Filipino friends who brought them to Vienna’s version of ukay-ukay. They found what they were looking for in a place not unlike a Salvation Army shop and bought suits and leather shoes for a song. After the suits had been dusted off and pressed, they looked—to them at least—impressive.

Armed thus, they went back to the conference and—again to them at least—burst into the hall like a conquering army. Beltran was so proud of his newly acquired (and polished) shoes, he told me, that he found himself dangling them out whenever he crossed his legs.

That is the image of Ka Bel that I retain to this day. A lot has been said about him falling off the roof of his house while he was fixing it, much of it having to do with the irony of a man who had lived with death and prison as constant companions only to be felled by something completely mundane. He had survived Marcos, he had survived Gloria, alas, he would not survive—his roof. What can one say? Sometimes heaven plays cruel tricks on earth. Warriors struck down not by the sword of the enemy but by the snares of ordinary life. Well, this is one warrior who will gatecrash Valhalla anyway. He has pretty much gatecrashed everything society had decreed was off-limits for him.

But one friend put it down pat. Do you know, he asked me, another congressman who climbs up his roof to fix it? That is the marvel of it, Beltran, who had earned his berth in the Batasan, who was there every day in barong Tagalog, which may or may not have been bought in an ukay-ukay, was not only not spoiled by his new station in life, he continued to live a life only a couple of notches better than the constituents he served. Before he got to Congress, Beltran was living in a P50,000-house in a depressed area in Commonwealth. Afterward, he was living in a one-bedroom bungalow that he bought with a P400,000 loan from GSIS.

Could he have afforded a carpenter or an istambay to climb up his roof and fix it? Probably. But that option would have appeared to him as natural or sensible as attending a conference on labor in the company of other labor leaders in a coat-and-tie. Why waste good money to hire someone to do something that you can very well do yourself? That he was past his prime and was defying the odds, quite apart from gravity, by doing so never entered his reckoning. That’s just the way he was. That was the mettle of the man.

We do not lack for poor people who made good, or made bad, depending on how you look at it, and turned into monsters in the course of it. Ka Bel did not. He did not become corrupt. He remained true to his beliefs, he remained true to labor, he remained true to himself. Congress has not honored him by calling him a congressman, notwithstanding that he got there by the party-list route, he has honored Congress by agreeing to be called a congressmen notwithstanding the laughable meanings that now attach to the word. He has shown that however a contradiction in terms it sounds, it is possible to be an honest congressman.

While paying him obligatory praise, many have also found it a pity that in life he clung to beliefs that were outmoded and ways that were unyielding, which marginalized him in politics and society. What can I say? If it has become outmoded to believe that the poor have as much claim to this earth as the rich, if not more so, that public service is not an entitlement to abuse but a challenge for one to acquit oneself honorably, that honesty and decency and simplicity are marks of high-mindedness and not naiveté, then we can all do with clinging to outmoded beliefs. And if it has become modern to compromise principle for pelf, to barter integrity for a life of ease, to sell one’s soul to gain the world, or an infinitesimal fraction thereof, then we can all do with being resolutely old-fashioned.

Easy to talk, hard to do. Words are cheap, and in this day and age where officials are free to say one thing and do another, they become even cheaper by the day. Ka Bel did not just talk about principle, he practiced it. Ka Bel did not just talk about the people, he walked with them. Ka Bel did not just talk about life, he lived it.

I don’t know that it’s farfetched to squeeze some metaphorical or symbolic meaning from Ka Bel trying to fix the roof of his house. That house might very well be the one where the people he loved and tried to serve—the poor, the tired, the hungry—were huddled in one corner, a tangle of arms and legs, trying to fend off wind and rain. Of course he tripped, and plunged to his death. But who knows?

Maybe his example might just inspire others to try their luck.

------------------------------
i don't know how many people can be like him... I don't know him personally. but the death of this person fascinated me...

Choosing what's worth it

2008-05-12T12:49:00.005+10:00

I was into so much cyclone last week. There were two birthday blasts, barbeques, arguments at work, boredom and fatigue. I plunged into the eye of the storm hoping that in some way I can find balance and compensation in all the things that I do. But well, things don't just happen that way.

So, I went into a self-imposed 'rest' in my own house. How I did that? I let Vonnegut, Sting and Gaiman entertain me once in a while. I slept most of the way -- for in that state of deep sleep, I can't even recall the dreams that I had.

But the hours are waning and I have to get back to work tomorrow. I have to plow the field again. I just have to face the long list of things to be done and start cracking on a few things.

A good friend told me to take my own time and my own pace because-- it is not worth it.

Well, when all else fails, at least I will still have me and the memories. Yeah, I'll take care of myself. I'll forget the rest. Perhaps, I won't dwell so much on thoughts...

Twists and turns of the day

2008-04-22T17:45:00.002+10:00

I woke up today with a strong resolve to do many things. My team called it ‘working’ day. But, with a ‘migraine’ lurking at the corner of my head, I tried to distract it by moving about in the office. I took the church keys to post a concert notice by the church door. (Think less and move much – clear the head exercise)

Much to my surprise, the church was open and I saw a lady in black sitting at a corner busy with a lot of things. I didn’t really take much notice about her activity until I noticed a fixture below the altar. It was a coffin – such a lonely death, I muttered…

I asked a friend on how a death could be so lonely when in the last hours of your wake, few hours before going to the final place called cemetery, only 1 person was just around. I dismissed it as something Aussie.

I was led to some trivial work later that I forgot about the ‘solitary coffin’… I waged war with my headache and there were just too many to preoccupy my head. The ‘invalids’ decided to do groceries for the office. I just happily tagged along.

My headache went off and it was another happy day.

Then, the priest came back and said “remember about your question on whether or not the funeral went successfully? Let’s just put it this way – the dead body was an ex-convict, indicted for murdering his wife. He died in November last year and was only identified a week ago. He got burried today.”

A Recipe for Feeding the World

2008-04-17T08:49:00.004+10:00

Ingredients:

• People’s need for good food

• Land for people, not profit

• Credit for small landholders

• Fair commodity prices

• Fair wages

• Appropriate technology

• Care for the environment

Method:

• Stir well till all problems are dissolved.

• Keep ingredients free from war, corruption and agribusiness or the mixture will curdle.

• Feed at least five billion. (That should now be six billion.)

Back home a growing unrest due to the shortage of rice is brewing. Although some calls it a 'staged' crisis, the alarming food shortage hits a very important nerve in a people whose staple food is rice.

This brings me back to the basic challenge of justice. In lawschool, social justice was literally funneled down to our system with the hope of having some when we get hardened by legalese... How much of those truly remained in the systems of governance?

How much? (May we have the bill please...)

in some blitz

2008-04-16T22:22:00.003+10:00

preoccupations

2008-04-15T22:24:00.002+10:00

funny. a lot worries about tomorrow. i am just too busy to think about it. there are lots to see and hear at the now that the future is too far and sometimes irrelevant. i only worry much if my now is connected with the morrow... but this is not really correct. i worry about missing the u2 3d movie this week just like i missed my date with jdepp because i stupidly burrowed myself in some hole too difficult to get out of. i miss out a good laugh and company once in a while due to obstinacy. i blow my top at a trivial now and i forget about the future implications of the present action...

i don't claim which is really good and much kewler. i just have to live with what i want to cope and do.

the nasty observant me takes over once in a while and my presence is absorbed in the 'arounding' mind you, when this mode is on, well... am neither here or there.

today

2008-04-13T23:32:00.003+10:00

i stood most of the time
waiting
wondering
hoping

i squatted with neil as company
hearing the sermon droning on and on
humming the hymns along the way
chatted with curious kids

believe me philosophical questions were stuck
in the middle and thrown by the kids
asking about how and why money should be
how and why there should be..

i smiled
linked hands with others
connected
avoided stares
(yes, am shy too)

sat with colleagues
for a long time
asked for a favor
tried to explain
a bit, for long...

then i blogged
clicked to links
my insomnia starts
my life is neverwhere...

Melbourne Social Forum

2008-04-05T22:07:00.002+11:00

I was at the Melbourne Social Forum today. The theme attracted me 'eating, moving, living: pathways to sustainability'. As usual, very few people came to 'change the world' perhaps, others were too busy to be bothered. Or what?

Just like any other forum, we often feel a need to connect and just simply be. The Conch provided entertainment which truly made my day. I miss the gigs and the jamming session at 6300 but well, we can just dance at any parties. It was an 'intergenerational' gathering of peoples and that alone would speak for itself.

It was also likened to a coming out party of the Young People for Development (YPD) to the engaged groups and individuals of Melbourne. The Green World Youth Day program was shared to those who were there. YPD mostly come for meetings among groups and people but it was the first time for the volunteers to set up a stall.

Attending today's MSF feels like just home. However, I was jolted out of my reverie when I attended the talks. The topics may be very similar but the concerns come from a different vantage point. Food issue for example is not much from the stark reality of food shortage and hunger. I miss the common farmer who can belt out into a litany of complaints and passionately recount stories of being detached from their seeds... But then, hey, this is Melbourne!

What is very important is that people still care and do the best of whatever way we can. I do borrow the line of the Conch: where do the rebels go?

In this type of gatherings, we leave inspired and plan to do more... No, I don't plan to change the world. A quarter perhaps? :-)

Lights off!

2008-03-27T22:33:00.006+11:00

The earth hour is a cool way to express one's commitment to reduce carbon emission. Everyone can make a difference. We just have to show it.

Lights off at 8-9 pm, tomorrow night.

On flagellants

2008-03-19T22:59:00.004+11:00

flag·el·late (flj-lt)
tr.v. flag·el·lat·ed, flag·el·lat·ing, flag·el·lates
1. To whip or flog; scourge.
2. To punish or impel as if by whipping.

It is holy week and my mind transports itself to the traditional way the Philippines wallows into the crucified Christ religiousity. The Central part of the Philippines is well known to showcase flagellants who make a big deal out of it. People from all walks of life do self-mortification by either whipping themselves and/or have themselves be hanged on the cross. Others carry a large cross while walking and whipping themselves. It is an annual spectacle that some observe during the lent. They try to seek mortification over the sins that they've made in the previous year. I don't dig it so, I don't bring myself to witness it personally. Although in a couple of times when I go to Baguio years before to enjoy the coolness of the holy week, I can see some of the flagellants through the bus window. The sight of blood and the open wound + sweat + heat +absurdity (oooops) or 'faith' isn't just me.

I don't feel the 'pious' holy week ambiance out here in Melbourne. The Filipinos that I met also complained of the same nostalgia. "No place like home" would be a seller in pep talks...

However, is this the only way of mortification? What about going on a boring diet for the sake of figure? Can this be flagellation too? (Ehemmm, is it a synonym to vanity?) What about doing the routine, dragging oneself to work, to endless meetings? How about sacrificing for the common good, the family or unity? Is it not another whipping? Another punishment?

sea takes

2008-03-12T00:09:00.006+11:00

Salamat po!

2008-03-07T10:48:00.003+11:00

I may not always be in touch with you… or, I may always be at your back, trying to

get things done… or, I may be too straight, harsh and direct at pointless matters around us… or, I may be too oblivious at what is going on because a deadline is in the offing.

But I still have to say this over and over and over again: thank you for the journey. I will soon be five months down under!

It is a journey of faith coming over to Melbourne… I am sure it must also be for you when you invited and welcomed me over too!

Thank you for:
Welcoming me
Listening and making me feel like home
Understanding and simply accompanying
The laughs and the cries
Believing and trusting
Challenging
Bearing with my erratic working habit
The space and venues for silence
Feeding and showing me around…
Updating and encouraging me…

(I refuse to mention names for fear of missing out important ones.)

Let me borrow the words of St. Paul, “I thank my God, each time I think of you… and when I pray for you, I pray with joy…”

Down the road,
Kins

post sorry days...

2008-03-06T11:50:00.003+11:00

I meant to write about sorry day and share my reflections on it. Time stole the opportunity. However, I took some photos in the city showing the activity of the people few days after...

what is the face of 'compensation' over the years and chances that were stolen?
how is the engagement of Australia over all of these?

Just asking....

Archbishop heads rally against coal-fired power plant

2008-03-06T11:00:00.003+11:00

NO WITH A SMILE. Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) president Archbishop Angel Lagdameo of Jaro smiles as he holds up a placard opposing the proposed building of a coal-fired power plant in Iloilo City. Lagdameo led thousands of Ilonggos at an interfaith rally Wednesday calling on local and national government officials to reject coal as a power source because of threats to the environment. GREENPEACE/LUIS LIWANAG (www.inquirer.net)

freezing the beauty

2008-03-04T21:45:00.003+11:00

oblivious to the heat and the thousand and one meditation instructions given, I followed my own course. i clicked photos...

it may not be too spectacular but it is mine and i managed to freeze the beauty and imperfection of the sunflower...

Perspective

2008-02-28T22:22:00.004+11:00

well, we just have to choose a vantage point... we surely pick the perspective we take.

2008-02-26T23:50:00.002+11:00

the wounded man stopped breathing and the blood drained out of his system

the soul traveled from afar . he was pronounced dead.

how many crucifixions must we take to have our own resurrection?

we take delight in all things new, meeting people at the crossroads, journeying.

it is tiring though. how is it possible to always choose the unpaved and unpopular?

it may only be me... trying to be like you. nah--pretending.

Scrap!

2008-02-15T09:34:00.002+11:00

The front lawn of my house is full of scrap. We waited for almost one month for the HMR (heavy metal recycler) to pick it up but it seems that it will stay for a while out there. We even called one day to complain but a grumpy wife simply dismissed us saying that his hubby is in the hospital. Translation: wait till he is able to get it.

The waiting went on and our grumblings grew. We just can't believe that our tiny yard became a 'junk yard'. It is a terrible site for the pedestrians.

I will go back to the surly reply of a wife in pain. Little did we know (to our abberation of tabloid-community papers), the incident regarding the hubby was no domestic hospitalisation. It was work-related. Apparently the guy and his son was mauled and 'chopped' by rival HMR groups in the morning while the two were rounding up for some scrap metals.

Big sigh. In a very clean, posh and rich Australia, they too fight for scraps. For them it was a 'job hazard'. I just don't know how they would call the fighting scavengers of payatas and many other 'smokey mountain' areas in my country.

Text of PM Rudd's 'sorry' address

2008-02-12T20:31:00.000+11:00

February 12, 2008 - 6:18PM

Today we honour the Indigenous peoples of this land, the oldest continuing cultures in human history.

We reflect on their past mistreatment.

We reflect in particular on the mistreatment of those who were stolen generations - this blemished chapter in our nation's history.

The time has now come for the nation to turn a new page in Australia's history by righting the wrongs of the past and so moving forward with confidence to the future.

We apologise for the laws and policies of successive Parliaments and governments that have inflicted profound grief, suffering and loss on these our fellow Australians.

We apologise especially for the removal of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander children from their families, their communities and their country.

For the pain, suffering and hurt of these stolen generations, their descendants and for their families left behind, we say sorry.

To the mothers and the fathers, the brothers and the sisters, for the breaking up of families and communities, we say sorry.

And for the indignity and degradation thus inflicted on a proud people and a proud culture, we say sorry.

We the Parliament of Australia respectfully request that this apology be received in the spirit in which it is offered as part of the healing of the nation.

For the future we take heart; resolving that this new page in the history of our great continent can now be written.

We today take this first step by acknowledging the past and laying claim to a future that embraces all Australians.

A future where this Parliament resolves that the injustices of the past must never, never happen again.

A future where we harness the determination of all Australians, Indigenous and non-Indigenous, to close the gap that lies between us in life expectancy, educational achievement and economic opportunity.

A future where we embrace the possibility of new solutions to enduring problems where old approaches have failed.

A future based on mutual respect, mutual resolve and mutual responsibility.

A future where all Australians, whatever their origins, are truly equal partners, with equal opportunities and with an equal stake in shaping the next chapter in the history of this great country, Australia.

http://www.theage.com.au/news/national/pms-sorry-address/2008/02/12/1202760291188.html

the pace

2008-02-10T23:55:00.000+11:00

your slowness can be as nasty as your response. look around you. we are called to run towards what we can offer and can actively do... the snail irritates me. yes. but it is a consolation too. no matter what, there is a movement.... so slow but it moves..

The launching

2008-02-10T23:52:00.000+11:00

we've shared our dreams and hopes dearest
we bottled it up together
it is time to launch our ship and sail away
don't be bothered by the undercurrents and the tide
let it take over
allow the waves to disturb us...

it will sail slowly
it sucks into the dependence of the wind
pray that the water will sustain its hospitality

come now my love...
we face the odds
let's submerge in the water...

The twelve apostles

2008-01-28T23:43:00.000+11:00

Slowly I get to see places down under. Last Saturday we went to the great ocean road to pay tribute to the 12 apostles. Our guide told us that they were 'remnants' of the great landbridges that used to connect Asia and Pacific.

Farewell

2008-01-24T13:34:00.000+11:00

IN MEMORIAM:

HEATH LEDGER
Actor, Legend

Down Under pics

2008-01-22T22:43:00.000+11:00

Geelong

2008-01-21T21:55:00.001+11:00

GEELONG

Out of impulse, we drove for almost an hour hoping to take a swim in Geelong. The heat was sweltering that day. We reached the place around 6:30 in the evening and, the cool change came. I wasn't able to take a dip as it started to get cold. This photo is taken (like an ordinary tourist) at 7:30 pm... Thanks to summer time.

I do miss the unspoiled 'boca del cielo' of ours in Bohol...

Random images down under

2008-01-20T21:14:00.000+11:00

Welcome flower...

The most welcoming creature I met one day while I was about to leave for my volunteer work. It seems it bloomed to cheer me up one day...

rose petals from the garden...

Stop, smell the flowers... is an immortal advice. Out here, I do it often to scoop at the meaning of beauty...

Ceres bike workshop...

I fell in love with this place due to its innovation. The people out here started to develop this dump from scratch. Now, it is a center for sustainability.

Water talk

2008-01-11T17:35:00.000+11:00

The Asian Development Bank released a finding that the water quality in the Philippines is worsening. This is nothing new. One will just have to take a look around and things are not getting any better.

What about the question on accessibility of water? Have we gotten ahead out of this?

In grade school, I can still remember how much we suffered of water scarcity. People in the house has to stay up so late just to find water. It was common to knock at a neighbor's door to 'borrow' a container of water for drinking.

I know, the younger ones would find it hard to believe. But it is true... It was only very lately that we experienced a good supply of running water. Mind you, it is not steady!

Looking at the future, water might be a cause for trouble...

Browsing through the local paper

2008-01-10T13:49:00.000+11:00

I went through my local community newspaper on the web and was surprised to find that the Provincial Government already approved the annual budget for fiscal year 2008. It is indeed surprising as I was so used to having the City Annual Budget approved first. I even recalled how easier it was for the City Council to reach a consensus than the provincial body.

For two years, I witnessed the tedious process of approving an annual budget at the local level. Due to the nature of the post that I held, I consciously put the figures and the information aside due to ethical reasons.

However, reading this news reminded me as to how far I have been removed from the ‘internals’ of my city. That happily, people can move on and deal with their lives separately for there are just too much of choices that we are into.

In the same paper, they also talked about C-205 and its need for iron-clad implementation. Yes, I recognized that measure! I am glad that they revisited such an ordinance. I also hope that it will be materialised… along with many other wishes that I have for the new year.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-07T18:05:00.000+11:00

A friend emailed me earlier today saying:

"Best Wishes for 2747 Karen New Year!

Best Wishes all of you. Unfortunately, we Karen Could not celebrate Karen New Year in Thailand and Burma in Thailand King's sister pass away and no body can happy the whole
month, no celebration, no event. In Burma Malitary do not allowed. we can have very small and few people can participate. Anyway, hope for the best for the Karen future!"

Their New Year will only be tomorrow, January 8th but their situation prevents them from really celebrating. Most of the Karens are refugees. They live in a 'borrowed' land...

Just like to most of us, living in a borrowed land, phase, dream and situation, we try to hope that tomorrow and the new year will bring something that finally, we claim our own.

On VAW

2008-01-07T14:37:00.000+11:00

A woman slept at the railway station last night because the hubby turned her out of the house. She walked for an hour to catch the train. By the time she reached the station closer to the church, she just can't find the strength to walk again. So, she just slept at the station hoping that her 'angels' will keep her safe from harm.

I saw her this morning. I showed her where the shower was. We had tea and randomly talked about her situation. She was too calm and talked casually talked about her 'last night'.

After all the talks that she had with some people, she came to our office again and smiled calmly. She bid goodbye. She was going back to the house. She wants to be with her kids. She'll brave the maltreatment. After all, she's on the 'saner' side...

BIG SIGH.

Voice of Dissent

2008-01-04T16:00:00.001+11:00

Help me understand just what he is saying about climate change...

We do have much room for diversity of opinions and ideas. I try hard to understand the need of looking at the problem at an objective manner. I don't play up guilt and fear when I approach the issue on climate change. It is not just me.

I ended up volunteering for climate change not because of the catastrophic end that we shall soon see. I put my energies on efforts that I know we can still do things together. My cause and my passion is not equated to my religion. Passions are feelings. When you run out of it, the faith that we get as believers are inexhaustible...

That is why, help me see what he is talking about.

Greening your household

2007-12-31T16:39:00.001+11:00

Everything in Australia is big. The land area is so vast and the houses are just BIG. When you eat out, you brace yourself to generous portions and horrendous bills awaiting. Yes, am two months old here but I am still into the conversion mode which prevents me from buying anything.

The age made such a big deal on the carbon footprint made last Christmas and it made me feel upset about how slow my project is taking place. However, it gave me the push to work more for next year.

An average Australian household has a carbon emission of 1 ton in a month. The low population rate of the continent is no excuse for such a high emission of carbon in the atmosphere... 'after all, we breath the same air in the same planet.

This leads me to the conviction that carbon offsetting is a logical idea in all these footprints. Next year, bear with me as I go blogging on how green you are and whether or not your household is green already.

We owe it to ourselves and the earth's future to be vigilant. We should do our share of solidarity in all of this.

The Outsider vs The Stranger

2007-12-31T16:04:00.000+11:00

I went to the bookstore last week to do last minute Christmas shopping. It was just a breeze as I got only one present for my landlady but I stayed there to commune with the books. I can only do as much as the books were too pricey for my pocket. I crave for home everytime I turn over the prices of those books. Nevertheless, browsing through the pages of the books, smelling the pages are still for free, so I indulged on it.

One book caught my attention and it was that of Camus' and the title was "the outsider". I wracked my mind why no one told me about the book as I knew I covered much of his books. As I tried to reach for a copy, I remembered---translation does wonders.... Yeah, it was indeed another version of l'etranger.

I went home grinning like another silly girl. But it made me think--- the title for me is more appropriate. Being an outsider brings you to the innermost core but detaches you at the same time from the sheer reality of it. A stranger is always outside of it. It is never inside... It made people get angry at Meursault and eventually led him behind bars... and death.

Just how at home are people really at their own realities?

Blocked

2007-12-07T16:12:00.000+11:00

For two hours, I did not face the computer monitor today. I did something else and that was stamping 500 envelopes with 'postage paid in Australia'. I just wanted to put my mind to rest.
I find it very helpful to do some diversion. It kept me focused on my work.

Others may call this 'blocking' thoughts and actions to encourage creativity and productiveness. I really wonder if this is also the same tactic that the police did when they blocked the Sumilao farmers in going to Malacanang? What higher things did the palace residents have in mind?

When one walks for thousands of kilometers, braving all the heat, rain, aches and pains, would it not be considered 'Christian' to at least, receive them? Or, is it not just another time when the nativity story was relieved? This time, the palace residents wanted to play innkeepers. They really did their part very well, highly militarized and apt for the times.

I just wanted to play 'student' --rereading the story, reflecting, criticizing....

Photos from down under

2007-11-13T09:27:00.000+11:00

Perhaps I have chased so much of my shadows…

Defacement

2007-11-07T16:47:00.000+11:00

Yes, am missing home. I miss a lot of things that I don’t get to do out here. But I connect much to what is going on at home. I read the news and catch up with every crumb that goes along the way.

I wonder how much of the truth got filtered along the way in my readings. I wonder how much ‘defacement’ of facts took place in the transfer of information and in my reception of it. Let me just make some bullets on the news I got from home and somehow place it back into my blog---

The NPC mural.

The National Press Club cried for being ripped in the open, alleging that the artists asked for a very high fee. On the other hand, the artists cried foul over the alleged censorship. Some faces were altered to allegedly cater to the whims of some sectors in society.
I cannot put a price on art and talent. The NPC should be the first one to know that. They survive on the freedom of expression and art is the driver of what we must express. What has gone wrong?

Am saddened and alarmed at how a very prestigious institution succumbed to censorship or pressures. The NPC got the much-earned respect because it stood by principles and the truth.

Comprador barangay elections.

Generally, the people still sold their votes to the highest bidder in the latest barangay elections. This is an ongoing defacement of the order of things that we still cling unto (at a superficial level?). What are the other alternatives? Lest, we continually regress to a pointless corner altogether.

The issues highlighted above might not be THE issue back home. Yet somehow, these issues brought me home. How can changes be alternatively effected? Can there be any? The cynics say NOPE.

A day in the life of a volunteer

2007-11-01T14:14:00.000+11:00

(caveat! this is quite detailed, made on siesta hour!)

I still wake up ahead of my alarm clock but the cold mornings down under keeps me longer in bed (ahem) than when I was in my happy old city. I do my morning ritual creatively and grope for my mug of tea (simply because the coffee at home is nescafe!) after I turn my laptop on...

Work follows... I am online most of the day with a huge bar called BUSY most of the time. My work is just at my fingertips, connecting people and looking at how they do the things. In some mornings, I discuss things with Stefan, critically look at things and agree on how we proceed.

At times we take lunch at the parish office and continue to work from there or, we go on to virtually hole up in front of the computer. Routines would change when meetings are scheduled. I get to see a lot of the city when we attend forums and discussion groups.

The local melbourne news will be on in the evening and dinner follows. I get to chat with my friends before dinner. The wonders of internet keeps you in touch with dear friends far and near.

The computer is on until midnight. Sometimes, I do it for personal reasons: updating blogs, reading news, chatting online with friends. I do work too! I update some presentations and lucidly think about the implementation part of the project.

No pubs and bars for me to go but I don't miss it much. Those are more interesting when friends are there. I can't take them with me. The itinerant longs for those spirited laughs but is content with what she does... The direction and meaning is there. It is important.

Initiatives

2007-10-28T22:21:00.000+11:00

I spoke in four masses today. I got more inspired and affirmed seeing hope becoming real and concrete through the simple acts of solidarity that my adoptive parish takes. We got the whole parish together to sponsor some aboriginal people from Darwin for the World Youth Day program in sydney next year.

My parish creatively raised funds for them through the Melbourne Cup Sweep. It is through a raffle draw that depends on the winner of the great horse racing event in Melbourne next week.

So far, the parish already raised 1,000 AUD not counting the last mass.

Indeed, humanity is too good and generous after all...

making sense

2007-10-27T10:31:00.000+10:00

barely half-filled backpacks lugged anywhere

toting thoughts and abstract plans...

i go by the hour, i take the train.

Awes and wanders: by the 'spires'

2007-10-26T15:40:00.000+10:00

by the 'spires'

2007-10-26T15:13:00.000+10:00

i didn't appreciate much of the architectural grandeur that you showed while walking past by at you. it was when i shivered at the blow of the wind that i forced myself to seek for sun... you are no ordinary structure just like the rest of the people i listened to...

but i still seek for the warmth and the soul that you can certainly offer. please don't allow the hardening of more hearts and the concreting of more goals. it is okay if we slip and get disturbed by pebbles along the way... just make us feel alive, breathing, struggling...

by then, you won't become another ordinary skyline feature and a landmark to behold...

awes and wanders

2007-10-26T10:58:00.001+10:00

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Celebrating our Rice (Ryan's photo reflections)

2007-10-24T10:51:00.001+10:00

Will I be able to feed my children?

Poetry for the people...

A reply to the many worries people take when it comes to rice questions...

Tadiyandi is just around, uncompromising with its faith in the local culture... We won't let up our passion to be Filipino...

We hold on to our indigenous rices too dearly...

RICE FEAST! (Farmers from all over the province)

Alternative leaders of this island, please be true to your promise to the farmers. You feed us tonight but that promise can even feed the unseen children of the future...

And the consumers...

Enough! DON'T MESS WITH OUR RICE!

RICE JAMMING!

Young People for Development and not for GMO

(Photo credits: Ryan Macalandag)

Rice Reflections

2007-10-24T10:30:00.000+10:00

STAND UP FOR YOUR RICE!

October 17, 2007 the Bohol Initiators for Sustainable Agiculture and Development (BISAD) supported by the Young People for Development (YPD) organized a cultural night in to commemorate the world food day celebration and to strongly say NO TO GMO RICE!
PHOTO CREDITS: Ryan Macalandag.

RICE: HUMAY, LUTO, KAN-ON...
No matter how much I call you, you fill up my senses, give me energy.

My creative ancestors wrapped you up in coco palm. The seafaring Boholano blended their need for rice and the way to keep it fresh for a long time.

The drought is over, the last harvest insures a good supply of food for the next month. I can't contain my joy. It is truly appropriate that we pay tribute to the rice.

CITY PEOPLE,
you might not know of the different rices existing in our province. If you open us up, be surprised at the different varieties that you can discover. Please take the pain to educate your peers about the loss of the many indigenous rice at the onset of the hybrids...

Keep GMO off our province, we have so much of varieties to keep.

It takes pain to bring rice to our tables but we know how to balance our life. we find solace in the music that we play and the community that be belong to...

Sir, please keep us in mind when you think of investments and development. If you can't see past us, just keep the rice in mind...

Please share what happened in your next meeting with the Chamber of Commerce.

Accounting Saturday

2007-10-10T13:55:00.000+10:00

(September 29, 2007)

Traffic and the unbecoming thought of coming in late made me jump out of bed on time. As I showered, I have to tell myself that Manila is one place where one must add an average of two hours of travel time in order to keep appointments. It was excitement that pushed me to make it an effort to be on time despite the tempting look of my bed and the balmy morning that greeted me.

Yes, we were just on time. I enveloped myself with all the hugs and greetings I got. People were surprised to see me. I really come from afar. It was a joy to be there. It was another reunion that I have to attend.

I met the people of the “first generation”. There was Jun that I tag Mr. Courage and Faith. He battled with his kidney problem for three years. The haemodialysis kept him going twice weekly. There was Grace whom I thought already left the country to advance her career but was all along in the neighbouring province of Cebu. The South Luzon group was also there. Their sense of community disarmed me.

Friends from the World Youth Day era were also there. I was surprised to find that some of them still gladly keep in touch with each other. Such friendship nurtured and cherished! Actually, the first generation and the world youth day group seemingly interspersed with each other.

I would have stuck myself to that group were it not for my Kolkata experience. I was blessed to join the team who went to the pilgrimage of trust last year. It renewed my ties with the newer blood of Taizé permanents and youth volunteers of the Philippines. We gladly described our selves as ‘old but new’… Only three from the group of durglets were unable to come and cherish the first year anniversary of our journey to India.

Bro. Aloi’s reflection on the life of Bro. Roger entitled “Trust in God, Peace of Heart and Inner Combat” was the focal point of prayer and sharing. Interestingly, he opened a side of Bro. Roger that we didn’t experience and that was his anxiousness. What amazed me was his ability to channel that supposed paralysis to creativity. The ‘inner struggle/combat’ was very much alive just like any ordinary person but he was able to go beyond all of those.

We capped our day by sharing the itineraries of our journey. It was beautifully done. Listening to other’s paths made me feel convinced that life doesn’t run out of people who make sure that other’s lives will become beautiful.

An uneasy afternoon

2007-10-10T13:46:00.000+10:00

I was late for the funeral mass. I just got back from so many errands (although others will call it work.) But we were on time for the funeral procession for the cemetery. We were added to the pile of cars that came for the funeral. We were an attendance, a statistic.

What unfolded at the cemetery was a drama. The cries and the moans were not the ordinary sorrows of loss and guilt. Everybody knows that it was more than that. Perhaps others cried thinking that they could have cared or have gotten more involved. Others just realized the consequence of the decisions that they have made. Others cried out of shame or apathy of the situation.

I also shed a tear. It was a tear of helplessness. We buried a beautiful soul whose only mistake was to hope. She hoped for a rosy future and a solid family. She begged for love and attention. She worked so hard at becoming perfectly best. To our humane standards, she was unable to cope. Her health failed. Perhaps, she died of consumption.

Her death is a reminder that life offers no guarantees. The choices we make will always continue to disturb us. The subsequent actions does not guaranty any result.

Awes and wanders: Climate Change

2007-08-31T19:28:00.000+10:00

Awes and wanders: Climate Change

Angkor Wat and its splendor

2007-08-15T17:50:00.000+10:00

I was plain lucky or simply called to wander into the hallowed grounds of Angkor wat. It was just greatness in every sense of the word. I walked through its halls and byways and touched the historic grandeur of the proud people whose past was somehow 'deleted' in many ways... Pol Pot or any devastations can't just erase the proud past of the people there. Climbing through the pagoda was a grand celebration of humanity for me.

My heart bled from the immense work that the Khmers must do to save the temples. The world owes much to history. Yes, we must also do our share of saving them.

This leads me to my own questions of some other historic greatness that my people should also celebrate. What mammoth past do we have?

My heart was torn... I can't also bear to simply climb through rails and mazes and treks to all the the past and say yeah, we were great. That past must also continue coherently....

I clicked my heart away in Vietnam...

2007-08-15T17:45:00.000+10:00

Anytime, am definitely going back there. The people are hardworking, unaffected by the development around them. The tall buildings and the poshness around the city center did not deter the ordinary people from peddling their wares. It is very normal to have the setting above just anywhere in Ho Chi Minh. I can't imagine if Makati will be full of people cooking puto in the middle of a busy walkway. Won't the MMDA chase them off?

The children accepts the reality as it is. There is nothing wrong with the seeming 'misplacement' of sorts in there.

I can't also forget the face of the schoolgirl who sells flowers and chewing gum after classes. She charmed her way around that no ordinary tourist can resist her sales pitch once you listen to her. Hard work and sheer determination.

Let's have some snacks!

2007-08-15T17:39:00.000+10:00

We went down for some drinks at a restaurant some hours away from Phnom Penh. I was excited to finally reach Angkor and I was counting the hours away.

A local girl tugged my sleeves and asked me if I want some snacks. I told her that if it is something native, I'll go for it. She held my hand and took to me to THE STALL. "I'll treat you! It's my favorite!" Indeed, it was yummy. The treat is not for the fainthearted but any traveler should have some. It is no blogging material for the gustatorily 'boring' type. But truly! It's yummmm... crack crack...

meeting the ghosts of S-21

2007-08-15T17:31:00.000+10:00

S-21 was a school transformed into a torture chamber as a way of purging the 'dissidents' of Pol Pot regime. The eerie atmosphere with the 'live' gadgets that shouts of excruciating pain gave away the place. My only connection with the area was the movie The Killing Fields that I saw years ago.

The authorities didn't do much glossing up about the place which made it more real. Going through the rooms and the different storeys of the building would enrich once imaginations. "NO smiling and laughing" was hung on the walls. It reminded the people to pray for the repose of the souls who died in 1975. Faces of people who suffered were displayed on the walls. The innocence of the kids bearing their names and the resignation of the older ones haunt me till now.

I wouldn't be surprised if people could hear moans and sighs of excruciating pain at S-21. The reminder of the terror that 'was' in the cells and the tools used were still there. I was utterly depressed by it all.

Behind the shutters

2007-08-02T19:06:00.000+10:00

Extra sweet luggages come along the way when i travel. One of which is my camera. Although a decade old, it is still a priority when i travel. At times, it has become more of a liability for me to carry such a bulky equipment. Yes,yes, many traded in their SLRs to a handy digital camera wherein one can delete unwanted photos and funny focused shots. i still remained in the old age...

lately, i noticed that i lost the novelty of posing in front of a monument or a statue. Am just contented to take photos of places and unknown faces. In phnom penh and indochina in general, I was just lost in the thousand of subjects that I clicked the shutters away... (ironically, I haven't developed them...)

Now, I am fully rested and is waiting for the time when my negatives will be developed and I will get a self-scolding at the importance or profanity of the subjects I caught...

(pics to follow of course)

Climate Change

2007-07-23T16:25:00.000+10:00

I have always been complaining about how warmer the earth has become and how inconvenient it is to stay outdoors. It has become a liability to expose myself to the sun. The skin gets burned and my head comes to a bursting pain.

In Phnom Penh, I am put to shame at how shallow I am when it comes to the issue on global warming. Technically (intellectually perhaps), I could connect the issue to climate change to the warming of the earth. I also put this into action by avoiding the installation of an aircon in my home. However, it is just simply an act of avoidance as I spend most of my warmer times at work and my office enjoys the airconditioning.

I can be alarmed to the point of fear and freeze in mobility or do something drastic and put more passion on this cause. I can also try to change my lifestyle a little bit more. But in truth, as I type on this blog, I put the fan on.

What can we possibly do? Reduce consumption and use, REUSE the things that we used, RECYCLE in order not to burden the earth and, OFFSET what cannot be avoided. We have grown so complicated to the point of sophistication. We are more vain. So, the idea of offset is more plausible.

The What and the Hows of Offsetting

For me to travel to other countries, I have to take the flight. However taking the plane uses up more energy and fuel than any other mode of transport. But this cannot be avoided in my context as I live in an island. So, I have to pay inorder to offset my carbon credits.

In the payment, I have to choose groups that would fully make use of the credits and gave back the most of it to its people. This is ethical living to the maximum level.

There are also groups who looked into some projects that would help reduce the emission carbon dioxide to the air. I think it is worthwhile to do this.

On blogging

2007-05-02T10:34:00.000+10:00

Sige lang kag blog diha
Daghan sigurog Iningles?
Adunay nakit-an nga nindot o nadungog nga hilas?

Wa siguroy buhat?
Apan nganong si inday magparôk man gani sa ka-laay,
Sige lang ug mugtok, di man lagi maka-blog

Tingali, adunay maayohon nga ka-chat
Dili uy, daghan og gustong pasuyaon
Lapas na man gud og 800 ang sulod sa friendster.

Basin baya og adunay suliran o problema
Unsa, utang? Kaon ra may gisaligan
Ang suroy ra man nga banana cue ni manang

Sige lang siya og blog kay sige man sad kag basa
Imo mang gi-bookmark ug gisuhid ang mga lakang
Labaw pa jod sa artista

Imo pa jod nga gipanabi ang latest sa iyang life
Di ba moderno nga panglili na nâ?
Wa pa jod ka matagbaw?

Awes and wanders: Experimenting with the lenses

2007-04-03T16:08:00.000+10:00

Awes and wanders: Experimenting with the lenses

Experimenting with the lenses

2007-04-02T19:57:00.000+10:00

Title: Romance with Tanduay...

Self-pic (aka self portrait--- my hand ached as i took the photo myself)

Title: Desolation

I tried to be 'serious' with my lenses and I just wanna share some of the shots...

The Butterfly

2007-04-02T19:44:00.000+10:00

href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PybIcJSnerY/RhDREr0rZDI/AAAAAAAABPM/XS9agaKCZas/s1600-h/trimmed.jpg">

More and more, I felt my wandering.
I just can't help it.
I am a butterfly...

Flitting away to places, meeting faces, nodding at issues.
Nothing.

Boredom rising...

To simply love

2007-03-28T14:47:00.000+10:00

Avocado Road on March 26, 2007 was a hub of activity at 4:30 in the morning. Most of us prepared to leave the house in order to skip the traffic. Our destination was the Shrine of the Divine Word at the Christ the King Seminary. We will attend the Episcopal Ordination of Bishop-elect Fr. Leopoldo (Pol) Jaucian, svd. Half-awake, we took the cab towards the site and greeted the sun rising over metro manila.

The Shrine was full of people who had close encounters of him. St. Jude Parish and the Catholic School was in full force. The crowd was a representation of people whom he worked with through the years. There were even guests from outside the country. I could feel the outpouring joy and love by the people for him. There was this lady who clicked hundreds of photos even before the ceremony started. The jubilant response of the people would say it all. The people cheered (even cried) even at the start when Fr. Pol marched down the aisle...

I noticed that the seating arrangement was color coded. We were included into the yellow code that meant 'others'. Still at the very end, our affiliation with Pol cannot be fully identified. I also noticed that it was the unidentified 'others' portion of the shrine that was easily filled up. They were the very people who cheered most and was so excited to catch a glimpse of the new bishop...

The ceremony lasted for a long time. What brought home to all those rituals were the words of Card. Rosales---"the main work of a bishop is to simply love... pray!-- it is in praying that you maintain your intimacy with Jesus... this is the only way that you would remain faithful to your call..." Tough! It made me wake up...

The people listened to the Cardinal on his homily. The order was so tall but the people seem to silently say--he can do it. He did that for a long time! For those who closely know Monsignor Pol, no convincing is needed that indeed he is such a very good person. I CANONIZED HIM! How can I resist from my not doing so? His vocation called for higher things. Now, he will be with his people in Abra. He is there to love.

Brand New Day

2007-03-08T16:22:00.000+11:00

I rummaged through my clothes today in search for something lavander to wear. It is women's day and I felt like celebrating. In the messy things in life, I chose to see the brighter side and focus on the things that I can do well and efficiently.

I dress up to give support to my boss who, in the political arena, was accused of betraying her party... It was not that way in the real sense. She was just true to her mandate and tried very hard to collaborate with everyone. However, when it worked, the people in her party were disappointed. The people benefited. However, the city gains did not win her a ticket to her party. She was booted out.

This gave me the necessary excuse to go out with a friend and do some sharing. Caffeine and talk goes together more than anything. One of the questions raised after our talk was 'what power lesson can we get out of it?' I kept quiet and said that the lesson is recycled--- when one goes against the grain, one will get crucified...

So much for this rantings... I just hope to see a new city with higher goals and higher thoughts. I just wish that leaders would look beyond affiliations and for once get moving.

AMEN.

I gave her the 'lamp post' award. She might stand alone but it radiates too much light. It deters crime from happening and attracts all the tiny insects around her... Goodness attracts but may not go well with politicking...

Karaang Balay

2007-03-05T11:36:00.000+11:00

I was previliged to watch a play two weeks ago (check out the lifestyle section of the Bohol Chronicle). For lack of time to write, let me show some unedited photos about it. The play was performed at the Malon House, one of the old houses in Baclayon, Bohol that faced the controversial threat of demolition to pave the way for a road widening... The play was directed by Gardy Labad, Bol-anon by heart, blood and choice...

Guests included Inno Manalo of the Ayala Foundation.

More photos on my picasa account...

In praise of Maribojoc Bay

2007-03-05T11:21:00.000+11:00

href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PybIcJSnerY/Reti4teIt7I/AAAAAAAAA6s/aKceRFVLHJE/s1600-h/IMG_1195.JPG">

Bohol Lady Lawyers Mode of Relaxation...

Local vs. Original

2007-03-02T18:37:00.000+11:00

Nothing prepared me for my class last Wednesday. I was prepared with my illustrative symbols on how to make local governance be made popular to my class. That portion in the Philippine Constitution is quite ‘boring’ for my students in the College of Education as they have the tendency to shun away from ‘frontal’ politics.

While I was about to steer them to the topic, I asked them about the meaning of the word 'local' for them. They blurted out that it has to be fake and the opposite of original. The educator in me tried doing follow-up questions and found out that they meant it to be that way. The baskets in Antequera are ‘local’ and never original… (This should be the mainstreaming of colloquial thoughts!)

I smiled then flexed my muscles. We went ‘dictionarily bookish’. My students simply smiled. They were sheepish when I told them that I will blog the evening’s event…

In that night, I was more excited ‘informing’ them that the opposite of local is not original and the former is always original… Most of them would not agree that they are locals but they adamantly said that they were very original… It was a fifteen minute probing of how the word was perceived and what was its meaning in the political science perspective.

Just like life, although somehow destinations are clear, we take short stops and encounter unplanned events… Along the way, people are there. These things happen. It was a stop worth taking. I peered into their minds and entered into a discussion with them, which they might hesitate if done in a very formal setting like that of an oral examination.

I could have climbed over the wall and complain about where the academia is going. I could have written a note to the English professors for their information and consumption. Instead, I blogged it as promised. They committed no crime… they were simply honest.

PROVOKED BY ARTISTAS

2007-02-26T19:54:00.000+11:00

I tried to keep my distance with the brewing elections. The fever seems too hot and too chaotic for me. The circus is not just up to my taste. As a civil servant, I could very well say that it is just the private side of me that could speak up. Hence, the pregnant silence…

Still, this text message just provoked me:

FROM A TEXT MESSAGE: “Pls patronize pirated Filipino DVDs so the movie industry will die & we wil no longer have actors, actresses, or their spouses running 4 public office. PLS PASS”

I’m critical with the qualifications of our candidates. I’m well aware that sterling qualities in leadership and personal ethics are of prime importance to take this country out of the rot. I’m very cynical of people who maximized their popularity and exposure to gain more votes and mileage. But this do not only confine to actors and actresses. Conrado de Quiros aptly pointed out that traditional politicians gained the much-needed mileage just like anybody else.

I cannot fathom the contempt people have over that in show business. How can one ruthlessly eliminate the movie industry to make sure that non-actors and actresses would not run our country? It is not an assurance that our nation will be in the G-8 soon if these artistas will not win. I don’t need convincing otherwise. Just simply talk to my hand.

The classical problem of having traditional politicians winning the elections due to the feudal way we are run is a complicated situation. Personality-based vote is a passport to winning. FPJ almost made it due to the hero-like projection. Erap won utilizing the underdog image.

I am no fan of the two. However, I didn’t vote for them because they were just actors. I also didn’t vote for GMA because she was just a woman. I rooted for somebody else, more principled. I also didn’t vote for him because he was a lawyer…

We truly deserve the leaders we get if we are willing to kill the arts just to eliminate the ‘stupid’ ones or segregate the lesser beings from the enlightened ones. We can be so ruthless in dismissing these artistas. With the jokes and text messages going around, they qualify to be burnt at the stake.

We bash our heads and continue to tear our ashen clothes over safe issues. Yet, we whimper and keep our silence shout at important ones. Shit, the anti-terror bill just got signed as a law on a special session. We just whimper and pretend that letting these artistas run is the end of the world.

Come, gag me.

Stonewashed

2007-02-14T15:33:00.000+11:00

People stare blankly at those who openly said that they were consentingly USED. They seem to look at them with disdain. They are losers in every sense of the word.

Admittedly, I have been such a loser to be 'used' in one way or the other. However, most of which were opportunities of simply allowing the moment to be one. Anyway, the 'using' didn't affect much of my convictions or directions in life. I did try to look at it as an opportunity of others to be awakened by their cunning ways and reflect on their kind and nature.

It is just that some are just to dense or oblivious to many facts. Somehow, I realized that I sided into their empowerment to the point of licensing them to become USERS. If before, they did so in a very crafty manner, allowing them to be so lessened their creativity and jarred their imagination. Somehow, I spoiled them.

I reclaim my fighting stake. I may give up some fights, even people on the road and I don't need to explain the meaning or meaninglessness of this blog. It is just that I laugh at human nature. It is in the unguarded moment of a person that I saw their color. True or not, I just had enough.

A sillhouetted picture of a massive structure reminded me much about what is going on. I have the option to cry foul and bad mouth people who were very much into the game. Yet I choose to look at the bright skies. Anyway, the effect is still very beautiful despite the darkness that blunders.

I still pray that the growing process would come out well. That our seeming coolness would contribute to respecting other people's view and nature.

Life is indeed a journey. If one's destination would differ greatly from others, then I choose to take a walk ALONE. I got stonewashed and learned much.

Birthday thoughts (on journeys)

2007-02-06T16:53:00.000+11:00

I was a year older last Sunday. I woke up unable to even turn my head comfortably. I nursed a bad stiff neck that I couldn’t even arise from bed freely. In that situation I stared at the ceiling and pretended to think deeply.

Being zapped in a state of immobility, there were faces that came up and they made me smile. They were those people who put me through the jungle. In that reverie, I also happen to meet the faces of people whose chameleon-like character gels with their beings that somehow the shadow of their bodies resembles the colors of their skin (or was it truly the case?). On the other side, were my heroes whose mileage for acceptance can win me a trip thrice over the globe if converted to these programs. There were faces and memories.

I was reminded of events. There were deaths and births. There were parties and arguments (these are healthy for me!). There were partings and goings. There were moments of letting go and choices. Heartaches spiced it all up and the flag of independence put me through.

Engaged Individual

2007-01-22T19:22:00.000+11:00

There are those that make waves without making an effort. I did my share last year. A single signature changed their outlook on my name and my stances. It was when I affixed my signature on a manifesto and signed it as "ENGAGED INDIVIDUAL"...

Until now, a lot of friends would still greet me with an unusual “hi! Engaged individual!”

WHAT IS THAT? Engagement is often used when we mean to tie the knot. They sarcastically assumed the hilarity of people congratulating me and inviting themselves to my 'wedding'... But, still, many squarely looked at me and asked for the real meaning of the word. I advised them to look into the meaning of engagement and that is how I want to be as an individual. --bereft of structures or even institutions, I still continue to hold on to my beliefs no matter what.

The gun even needs to be engaged before the shooting to the target. At that time, to my recall, my body was truly so shoot up to engagement. But the signature still stands. I still would like to believe that engagement is the key for one not to forget. For vigilance to stay and people to be reminded of…

The Engaged Individual topic would stay for some time. I don't care. As long as they still care to read the manifestos written and signed by engaged groups and individuals.

Engaged Individual

2007-01-22T19:17:00.000+11:00

2007...

2007-01-11T19:05:00.000+11:00

Here’s wishing that 2007 would also be a year of
memories and lessons for all of us…

2006 was extraordinary. It was my 6th year of stay in Bohol. Five years of which I spent teaching at a local university and my first year of service at the city government.

2006 saw me as an ‘alternative’ lawyer. ‘Alternative’ in the sense that I can’t appear in court as a trial lawyer. I did try to counsel some people in their legal problems. It was a tug-of-war between theory and practice. I saw myself more as a coach so eager to see the end result of the problem. (Yeah, I still have the enthusiasm for the profession.. Ha! ha!)

2006 was a time for creating spaces and offering venues. The organized high school reunion for my batch proved to be a success. A concrete support system and open communication link was rekindled. My batch seemingly can’t just get enough of it. We hold regular dinners or nights-out together.

The year saw grief and shock as we witnessed the arbitrary killings of human rights activists. Some of them were my friends and people whom I greatly respect. They were icons of involvement and commitment for the people. I wasn’t able to do so much at a larger scale… I felt inutile but it is a personal commitment to do something as a tribute to those who sowed the seeds of hope and involvement.

I wasn’t able to really fortify the civil rights network of Bohol. People still have an aberration towards organized groups. We did have so many attempts. The Charter Change issue allowed me to work with many groups and people. Still, it did not really materialize as expected.

Towards the end of the year, I did much traveling. I was in Kolkata, India, Hongkong, Bangkok and Singapore. Locally, I also revisited Mindanao after four years. It was an opportunity to see old friends and renew ties. I felt blessed to witness life changing moments among some of my friends (Tak’s and Faith’s wedding for one). It was very inspiring and rewarding.

It gave me the courage to finally ask permission from my boss for a resignation. The concrete plan for my leaving is not yet definite but anytime soon, I will be a statistic as a jobless person.

I managed to develop a support network of friends. The space here would not be enough to mention all of you but I really treasure you for bearing with me in all my rant and rave moments.

All these and a lot more, I look forward for a more meaningful and challenging 2007.

Over a nasty hang over…

2007-01-11T17:09:00.000+11:00

(7th January 2007)

I woke up knowing that early part of my sleeping (or how it came to be) can’t be put into logical patterns. There was a lapse… I was drunk. I woke up with the young people looking at me with concern. I winked to confirm my being undead… I stood only to rush to the nearest coconut tree. I dumped all the solids that I munched on the night before. I rushed to the toilet to dump more of the liquids taken. I was truly wasted.

The first words uttered was “history is made… it is my second time to puke after a drinking spree”. The worst is yet to be. The dismantling of my innards just started. The microbes in my tummy revolted. They shouted freedom and rushed outside. Even a good cold mineral water was refused entry by the newly recruited vigilantes.

I slept and never allowed myself to move for fear of another rising foment, of having more revolutions rushing out. I continued that way until I went home. There was Beng, a youth leader who was really at my side taking care of me.

At home, I sought refuge to my room only to visit the comfort room. I slept until my state of euphoric inebriation went down. My first solid food was taken in at 5:30 PM. It was also the time that I asked for a good massage and a soothing vaporizer. It was another time to sleep.

I was woken up by a rainy Monday. I decided to take a morning off. I had an extended sickness. It was a chance for me to mull things over. A review. Why do people get drunk? It is when they get overconfident. I drank too much. I did not eat a decent meal before that (a good sandwich was what I took the day before --- hmmm would that count?). Yes, I overdid it.

The Ordinary

2006-12-22T18:17:00.001+11:00

In my current world and 'life' we tend to work for the ordinary people but we keep in mind that our output should not be less than the ordinary. The ordinary people deserves more than what has least been delivered to them. They deserve all the attention that we have in the service.

These created tensions and a countless worries on my part. At times, I wondered how the masses also appreciated and valued the work we do. I know for a fact that very few people cared on what measures we make or approve. It takes a lot of time for the impact of our work to sink in and stir public support or uproar.Another 'ordinary' created a lot of excited and elicited much of attention last week. At least in my island, people were so much up to it. It was the installation of the local ordinary of our Diocese. The only line that caught me so much during his canonical possession was “and now the Ordinary is walking to his Cathedral”. It is an ordinary that is formally addressed as His Excellency…

This thought struck me too much. Greatness by a lot of people was attained because they were so ordinary. Jesus for one drew multitudes of crowds because he is an ordinary doing something excellently. How can this ‘greatness’ be translated into the delivery of services to the people? How can this sensitivity be transferred to many systems and institutions that shout so much of mechanical services and pale much in terms of human heart? (I am not exempted from this righteous question)

These contradictions led me to look into the present Advent. While many people wait for the countless parties and lavish gifts that they have to give away, countless peoples are waiting in vain. They wait in hope for the impossibility to be gone. May joblessness be taken away and the suffering be erased. May the mothers of the disappeared be reunited with their lost sons and/or daughters. When would despair face the transformation of bliss and joy?

spin the bottle

2006-12-19T16:38:00.000+11:00

There are games that we have to play inorder to spark a party or a conversation. We did it again and thanks to the reliable bottle.

My head still spins with questions but I am just thankful for the bottle spinned. I was able to appreciate tolerance into a very good level.

Friendship when brought to a higher level would lead to simply listen to what others say. There is no need to make fun nor rationalize on the answers. After all, when the bottle spins, let us just have more FUN!

Weekend at boca del cielo's

2006-12-19T16:13:00.000+11:00

It was a hurried weekend. One that parallels the traffic inside the shopping malls. Christmas season is almost here.

I had another schedule and that is to be with friends, enjoy the Cathedral of stars and hear the unadulterated laughter and fearless discussion among friends. We converged at Doljo. We groped through the dark shores and hoped that the slimy crawling creatures chose another sandy shore to be at that time.

It was a decision to be there. I could have slept at home and just forget about everything. However, the events of some people withdrawing support from our much prepared manifesto was not just a headache but caused heartache from me.

So, I went out to my solace, my oasis. I was with friends who will soon leave the island to be with their families in their respective lands. I was with people who can intelligently engaged in a soulful conversation or crack a very funny joke at a blink of any anatomy...

Early morning, we discussed criminal law thanks to a party crasher who thought very less of the Filipinas who joined in the party. The men at the party were incensed and howled in protest but we toned down the situation saying that we will just tell the necessary feedback to the barangay.

We gleefully asked for G.... to be patalsikin... It was a mantra and a competition as to who can give the best punchline among us all.

We had a good time. Perhaps, it was also because it was a despidida of sorts to all of us. We have our own journey to do and a moving on to encounter.

tea on the rocks

2006-12-13T12:07:00.001+11:00

Singapore could also be confusing especially if your travel agency is not so serious (or not trying hard to take care of the client---hmm another blog).

We went from one hotel to another spending so much money for the taxi and waiting in vain to places where we should be. When we found our hotel, we were so exhausted and my companions cried out for food. HOwever, they couldn't have the usual inon-unan or sinigang or the bagoong that they craved for. It is Singapore for goodness sake. They just have to point out with prayers that the food would be palatable for their taste.

My first real order was the iced tea with milk. I have to order lots of ice as I anticipated how warm (hot) that iced tea could be. Then goes my first real experimental photo shoot in Singapore.