Thursday, 7 August 2008

I can write again

(My last photo shoot with my nokia phone... i forgot all about this pic but it evoked memories of spontaneity... at a time when yes, my pen was generous and words flowed out of the keyboard)

I was blocked and I went on self-denial. The ink didn't cooperate. I am no writer but my hand refused to be honest in airing out my feelings. I retrogressed. ---FOR A FEW MONTHS, WEEKS, DAYS.

Now I can write again. The dark days are over but it is no assurance that my own personal dragons are slain. It is still around but noticed and acknowledged...

Mea culpa

(ode to the world of unbelief)

For not loving you enough
For projecting my unreasonable standards
Perhaps for not listening

For not taking the pains of making me understood
For burrowing into the excuses called ‘to do’

For the long absence and the unjust presence
I was with my world burrowed deep inside Alice’s tunnel
Sucked into the vortex of angst and darkness

Am still drowning into the stinky smell of sulphur
My lungs shrivel and innards shrink

When the cancer of pain strikes
and the universe collides to stop it
my vision gets foiled
my senses numb

So I whispered to the dam keeper
To let it be. Nature will find a way.
I’ll surrender.