Flying again (chronicles in my 'hopping back')

Oblige me. I shall write about my trip hopping back to Asia. I promise that it won't be that dramatic, filling your thoughts about the difficulties of goodbyes. It is just something that I need to write about...

Sunday, September 28---

The day was spent doing my last shopping for the 'paki-padala' list of things that i need to carry to amazing Thailand. It was a discovery shop since I never get to enter into the cathedrals of consumerism in Melbourne. Anyway, I don't have the right to do so. (not much economic strength to do so) But in that day, I just entered into a lot of shops enquiring about brands that people asked me to buy. Some were inexistent in the Australian market while others were just to easy to find.

I had an instant farewell party with friends. (pity--my memory card got deleted...) It was just a simple one full of laughters and exchanges of memories.

When all the goodbyes were made, I remained awake to face the negotiation of my packing. Objective: no luggage overweight. When I achieved my goal, I just had 4 hours max sleeping time.

Monday - September 29

After completing all the packing and putting them all outside ready for pick up, Candy, another Filipina friend accompanied me to the bank. On the road to the bank, she reminded me about harsh realities in life. (Sigh---good to have wel-meaning friends)

When it was my time to leave for the airport, the customary goodbye hugs took place. Admittedly, I do have fond memories of 19 Lovell Drive...

Reaching the airport, I exercised utmost patience waiting for my gate to open. However, when 11 am struck and the gate remained closed, I just have to go to the service counter of Jetstar at Terminal 2. Out there, I was coolly informed that my flight would only be tomorrow. Another advisory was sent out weeks ago but was just left in a measly answering machine (hello! call centres--- moi doesn't return calls made by you!). I just waited for the printed itinerary and then gave them a piece of acerbity...

People in the house were happy for my return. I didn't have the time to make out of their jubilation. I slept through it all. I was so tired after the ordeal.

Tuesday - September 30

I don't have to do so much. My things were already packed. However, it was more difficult to say goodbye to my housemates as both Nilani and Anuja were there...

I was an early bird in the queue for the check in so the lady at the counter just wrote off my 3 kilo excess! It was a very good reason to smile and heave a sigh of relief.

I reached Bangkok 10 minutes after ETA. Jen and Fely welcomed me very warmly. The heat of Bangkok enveloped me and the ever-enterprising taxi driver confirmed the fact that ---Am back to Asia. Sawasdee!

Gradual phase out

I can write again

(My last photo shoot with my nokia phone... i forgot all about this pic but it evoked memories of spontaneity... at a time when yes, my pen was generous and words flowed out of the keyboard)

I was blocked and I went on self-denial. The ink didn't cooperate. I am no writer but my hand refused to be honest in airing out my feelings. I retrogressed. ---FOR A FEW MONTHS, WEEKS, DAYS.

Now I can write again. The dark days are over but it is no assurance that my own personal dragons are slain. It is still around but noticed and acknowledged...

Mea culpa

(ode to the world of unbelief)


For not loving you enough
For projecting my unreasonable standards
Perhaps for not listening

For not taking the pains of making me understood
For burrowing into the excuses called ‘to do’

For the long absence and the unjust presence
I was with my world burrowed deep inside Alice’s tunnel
Sucked into the vortex of angst and darkness

Am still drowning into the stinky smell of sulphur
My lungs shrivel and innards shrink

When the cancer of pain strikes
and the universe collides to stop it
my vision gets foiled
my senses numb

So I whispered to the dam keeper
To let it be. Nature will find a way.
I’ll surrender.