Mea culpa

(ode to the world of unbelief)


For not loving you enough
For projecting my unreasonable standards
Perhaps for not listening

For not taking the pains of making me understood
For burrowing into the excuses called ‘to do’

For the long absence and the unjust presence
I was with my world burrowed deep inside Alice’s tunnel
Sucked into the vortex of angst and darkness

Am still drowning into the stinky smell of sulphur
My lungs shrivel and innards shrink

When the cancer of pain strikes
and the universe collides to stop it
my vision gets foiled
my senses numb

So I whispered to the dam keeper
To let it be. Nature will find a way.
I’ll surrender.